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I once went to final rounds of an interview process where I was interviewed by 12 people. The law firm was filled with nice, outgoing people who were mostly bubbly and very friendly. That is not me when I meet people for the first time. When I first meet people, they usually think I am either really quiet or reserved, basically the Asian model minority stereotype. It's only when I get to know you that I become very loud and have the kind of interaction with you that embodies the extrovert ideal. At the lunch interview with three attorneys, they were shouting and teasing each other about their personal lives and I was thinking, "what is going on here? This is so unprofessional." I guess I couldn't hide the fact that I thought they were too out there for me so, bottom line, I didn't get the job. The feedback was that they wanted someone who was more of a "go-getter."
When I read Susan Cain's Quiet I felt like so many bells were being rung in my head, one after the other ding ding ding, with regards to that entire interview process. Just because a person doesn't vomit platitudes about how awesome the firm/job/interviewer is doesn't mean that person can't be one of the best people to ever work with you. If they aren't saying much and you are talking a lot, it might not be because they have nothing to say but because they are actively listening to and THINKING about what you are saying. It could also be because they are introverts who hate small talk. The book was really liberating for me because now I feel like I don't have to pretend to be someone that I'm not or get upset if someone rejects me based on their perception that the extrovert ideal is the formula for success.
That isn't to say that I'm all introvert. I would say that according to the book, I'm pretty much split down the middle. Extroverts have vivid dreams--mine are so real that I think they actually happened and I get deja vu all the time. Extroverts have a lot of friends and get energy from large gatherings--I get disappointed if I don't have some sort of party every weekend. Extroverts are motivated by negative reinforcement, like "you can do better, don't quit now or you're a loser." Once during a three mile run, I [figuratively] punched Stewart in the face (according to him) when I told him to shut up because he was saying, "good job, you can do it." That's just not how I'm motivated. My sister told me that I was going to fail the California bar exam because I was no longer young and I had not studied for a long time. Now that was something that was going to make me do every single bar review assignment and spend every second I could doing more multi-state review problems!
I learned so much about myself and those around me from reading Quiet that I am going to put my money where my mouth is by hosting my own giveaway of this book. It just came out this past Tuesday so it's finally available for purchase. I will have it shipped directly from Amazon to the winner.
HOW TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY: Contest period runs from Wednesday, January 25, 2012 at 10:00 PM (Pacific) until Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 11:59 PM (Pacific). Enter by leaving a comment on whether you are an extrovert or introvert, and leave your e-mail address OR sign in to comments using your Blogger ID, making sure your Blogger profile is public and includes your e-mail address.
Bonus Entries (leave a separate comment for each entry, it counts if you've done any of these so leave a comment for each one)
1) Follow me on Twitter
2) Tweet this contest and leave the tweet url (once per day)
If you don't leave a qualifying comment and your e-mail address or public Blogger profile, your entry will be disqualified. I reserve the right to extend the contest period. At the end of the contest period, I will utilize Random.org to randomly choose the winner. The winner will be contacted by e-mail and will have 72 hours to respond to my e-mail. If the winner does not respond within 72 hours, the prize will go to the next place winner as decided by Random.org. This contest is open for US Residents only. Good luck!
Join From Left to Write on January 26 at 1 PM EST as we chat live with Susan Cain to discuss Quiet: The Power of Introverts. As a member of From Left to Write, I received a copy of the book. All opinions are my own.
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7 comments:
Hear Hear! As somebody who glared during an interview when asked, "tell us how you are fast, fun, and friendly everyday?" (and pretty much decided on the spot, no way I can be chirpy enough everyday to work here, let's just quit this interview now!) I can relate.
L and I were just talking about this book. Interesting. Just took the Meyers Briggs for fun again and scored extravert but I think I'm in the middle... but now I wanna read the book. sorry about the job- you're too good for them anyway!
I'd say I'm an introvert, with parts of me extroverted. I've heard great things about his book and would love to learn more. {I'm a member of FL2W but didn't sign up for the book, wish I would have!}
I feel I have a hard time defining my myself in society's definitions. I'm loud and outgoing...at times. I'm very shy, too. Why do we have to label everything? That being said, I LOVE to analyze the heck out of things. Human nature, I guess, to try to dissect our brains. I'd love to see what this book has for me!
I'm definitely an introvert. My email address is jajohnson43@students.tntech.edu! This book sounds just like me... I feel like I could truly relate... Can't wait to read it, hopefully by winning a copy :) Thanks a bunch!!
Introvert and happy to be recognized. Always told I'm a good listener and annoyed by small talk, celebrity gossip and bs. Prefer small gatherings to large parties. Reserved until you get to know me. Thank you for blogging and posting this contest! Cruzd07@gmail.com
Mostly introvert, sometimes extroverted, like randomly after too much caffeine, haha. I keep seeing this book being mentioned, I can't wait to read it! Love your blog, hope everyone is doing well! Miss you all! :)
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